Sigh...

Last night was the worst...well, nights are horrible to begin with.
Everything's so quiet, the apartment feels even emptier when I retreat into the bedroom.
And then I have to be in a giant queen size bed, well it's not that it's really a giant queen size, it's a normal queen size, but it feels so big because I'm so small...

So there I was in my way-too-big-for-me bed, trying not to focus on how quiet it was, trying not to think about how empty the apartment felt, just simply trying to sleep. When it dawned on me that I'm going to have to do this for another 14 nights (details really aren't necessary, but if you wish to know why, ask me later). In the dark of night, alone with my thoughts, 14 nights seemed like the longest time ever (it still kind of feels like that).

Sigh, I just don't know what to do with myself. Mornings are kind of bad because I'm still so miserable from the previous night, I just want to hide under the covers. Days are fine, because I can preoccupy myself with my lappy, the TV, doing art, working out, cooking, cleaning, I can call people for company if need be, etc.

But nights, oh how I dread the nights.

they just make me feel so small and insignificant, so alone and forgotten.