Heavy

My heart is feeling so heavy these past few weeks. Unfortunately, not in the "full of love and everything is too wonderful" kind of heavy...more like the "so many awful things are going on and it's difficult for me to cope" kind of heavy.

It's crazy, because I left for San Diego in hopes that I could be relieved of the stress I had been feeling, but I've come home only feeling more stressed and effing exhausted. The week started out just fine, I got to see a lot of friends...but everything changed Wednesday. My Dad started feeling awful chest pain, so Kyle and I accompanied my mom and him to the hospital since poor Omied had been sick in bed (with what we thought was food poisoning). Kyle and I were in the ER waiting room until 6am, not knowing what was going on. But we were both pretty sure it would be bad news, it wouldn't have taken them 5 hrs if everything was fine. It turns out that my dad had a mild heart attack, and on two other occasions, was on the verge of a major heart attack and had pretty much all the doctors in the ER trying to prevent that from happening as my Dad's body couldn't handle a major heart attack. In addition to the heart attack, my Dad was also diagnosed with a Pneumonia and Diabetes.

Boy do I hate hospitals...after an incredibly stressful night in the ER my dad was finally moved upstairs. The reason for his heart attack could have been easily prevented...sort of. My Dad is on dialysis because his kidney is failing, so last week when he went into the dialysis clinic, they spent a lot of time prodding around his arm for the vein, and as a result, his arm became pretty swollen. But that didn't stop them from doing the dialysis on his incredibly swollen arm (it was honestly 3X it's normal size). So after getting into an intense argument with the dialysis clinic about how they don't care about him, and they only see him as a dollar sign...my Dad decided to take a break from dialysis until his arm healed. I think if he had only skipped one day, it would have been fine, but he skipped two sessions. Eventually his heart started to become suffocated by the excessive water surrounding his heart/lungs that his body couldn't process, as well as trying to fight off the toxins the kidney couldn't remove. Thus, the heart attack.

The worst part about all of this is seeing my Dad looking so weak and defeated. Neither of those words should ever describe my Dad. He is a loud-mouth pompous asshole who has no filter when it comes to speaking his mind. Seeing him hooked up to a bunch of machines supporting his life, and complicity agreeing with whatever the doctors and nurses are telling him...it's so saddening. Luckily, he somehow convinced the doctors to use his swollen arm again for the dialysis he needed...they were trying to do a minor surgery in his neck to place a catheter type instrument in his chest for the dialysis. While it was a minor surgery, it was probably better for him not to undergo anymore stressful situations, or anesthesia.

I guess it was naive of me to want just one more normal Thanksgiving. One filled with the sounds of my dad angrily/happily shouting at the football game on TV, and my mom singing while I helped her cook dinner. As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours. Omied's food poisoning turned out to be the norovirus...which means my entire family spent the weekend vomiting our guts out.

So here I am at work....sipping on ginger ale and munching on saltine crackers, wondering how life got so complicated. All I want to do is sleep, but here I am. Sigh...maybe my Christmas vacation will be better?

Picture Time

Pictures from Kyle's Mommy Jan and his Grand Mommy Penny's visit!

Hair Hair!

I was kind of unsure of my haircut at first, but I am now brave enough to post pictures up here...so, enjoy! :)

Dear Life,

you are great. In a filled with surprises and make-me-smile kind of way :)

This week has been pretty wonderful...it started with a video chat from my too-far-away family who I love and adore...Linda was visiting my parents, so she too was in the super awesome video chat. I miss my family so much sometimes, they're some of the greatest people I know, and I miss being at "home" in my old room, waking up to the smell of my mother making breakfast, and the sounds of Sahar watching cartoons (or my Dad watching the news). I miss cuddling with Bambina on cold nights/days (the only time she ever wanted to cuddle, hah).

I'm really looking forward to visiting for Thanksgiving! I get to pretend I still live at "home", except it's all the better because Kyle gets to pretend too. I love how much my family loves Kyle, and how much he loves them...when we're all together, I just feel whole, ya know?

Video-chatting aside, I received such a generous gift as a random act of kindness from our neighbor, Hamlet. He's a really nice man, who's Armenian-Iranian (what a combo, right?) and has this gorgeous/funny big fat cat named Mooshi, and they recently got a pupper (well, he's an older dog, but still cute as a button) and the other day, we both were walking our goggies when we ran into eachother in the hallway...well, he asked me if Dexter was a picky eater, and I laughed and said absolutely not, because seriously, he eats anything he can put into his mouth, lol...so Hamlet got excited, asked me to hold onto his dog for just a minute, came back with a huge bag of dog treats and dog food that his dog doesn't like...honestly, like easily $100 worth of noms! And he just gave them to us! What a sweetheart :) I'm definitely baking them cookies for the holidays! :) :)

In other news, Kyle's Mommy & Grandmommy are flying in tomorrow for a visit! I'm pretty sure it worked out for them because of Veteran's day this weekend...which is good news for us! They haven't been up here yet, so I've made a list of places we can go see and restaurants to eat! :)

I'm really looking forward to just getting through today, going home and cleaning/grocery shopping...is that dorky? hah...oh wells...also, I chopped my hair off again! Well, I didn't do it this time, I actually had a professional have a go at my hair, and she was awesome! Jenny and I went to the Gene Juarez Academy for super awesome/cheap haircuts (seriously, $13 cuts with 20% off for being students) and it's the best and the cheapest cut I've ever gotten. And it was the best experience too, I super clicked with my stylist...and I'm kind of bummed that I was her last haircut (she's graduating Sunday, and is stopping by my store in search of graduation shoes, hah) But honestly, I'm hoping to stay in touch, because I don't really want anyone else to cut my hair, ever again, lol.

TTFN
(Ta-ta-for-now! hehehe)

Halloween Continued

Okies, here are the pictures I promised!

Halloween

Halloween weekend was pretty fun! We all went to my boss' birthday/halloween bash, I went dressed as steampunk little red riding hood, Kyle accompanied me as steampunk big bad wolf...(I'll post pictures of our costumes as soon as I can! Promise, promise!) Jenny was Minnie (so cute!) and Diego went as Kenny Fucking Powers, lol...Carly went as herself (didn't have the time/money to spend on a costume) annnd we went all the way out to Puyallop to the Meeker Mansion which is a beautiful haunted house. It was all decked out with scary props, and because it is both a historical monument and haunted, there was only one photographer allowed (not me! lol) :( But as soon as she gets her pictures up, I'll post them over here! :)

Also, slightly related to Halloween, Kyle and I went and saw the lovely Ingrid Michaelson at the Showbox SODO...I say slightly related because the band came out with hooded robes on looking super scary, lol...and it was probably because it was near Halloween :)

But more on concerts in the next post! Tonight Kyle, Jenny, and I are going to see The Head and The Heart over at Neumos...and tomorrow night Kyle and I are going to Ben Gibbard's charity concert at the Crocodile! :)

Happy November everyone!